The Evolving Homemaker

So here is the funny thing.  I attempted to make this delicious, gourmet yumminess in celebration of Christmas.  I had all the recipes picked out from Food Network, in an inspired attempt to create a delicious Christmas dinner that wasn’t the Thanksgiving dinner we had a month ago.  Especially considering the fact that we had to move part of Thanksgiving dinner out of the fridge to make room for Christmas leftovers.  Turkey anyone?

So I picked out Hot Artichoke Spinach Dip for afternoon snack, because who doesn’t like a heart attack on a chip for Christmas? After taking  a few chips full of the stuff I decided that Food Network must not be the intimidating empire I always assumed it was, the dip was only O.K.  It desperately needed more spice of some kind.  However, when I got ready to begin dinner and pulled out the rest of my recipes I had so meticulously printed out, I found I had left the last three ingredients out of the artichoke dip!  Worcestershire, pepper, and cayenne.  Hmm…maybe they are an empire for a reason.

With a sigh, I quickly moved on to Gratin Dauphinois and Garlic Roasted Green Beans with Shallots and Hazelnuts courtesy of Bobby Flay.  For the main triumph it would be Almond Crusted Chicken with Scallion Beurre Blanc by the 30-minute super hero Rachel Ray.  What Beurre Blanc is I have no idea, but it looked pretty in the picture!

Can I just be honest here and say that the only thing that turned out fairly edible was the Gratin Dauphinois.  Which I am not sure is such a good thing, for when I tried to re-heat it the next day I almost thought I would be ill just looking at the pools of oil in my leftovers.  But it did taste good, anything that sticks to your arteries with the power of Gruyere must be heaven in a dish.

The beans.  Well, I didn’t read the recipe all that well evidently and put the lemon zest and nuts into the oven with the beans.  They were supposed to go in after the roasting part.  Whether or not I followed the correct procedure, they came out of the oven looking like wrinkled, over-cooked hot dogs that have sat on your counter for two days.  Yet they were still not cooked through.  Almost raw if you like.

And the grand finale.  My Almond, which I changed to walnut due to the fact almonds landed me in the emergency room this spring, Crusted Chicken Cutlets with Scallion Beurre Blanc.  Wow.  Oh where shall I begin!? First, we grabbed the chicken out of the fridge only to realize it was still frozen.  We quickly microwaved them while the sauce was already on.  No worries!  I dredged the cutlets through the egg, then the walnut and bread mixture and delicately laid them into the pan.

Sizzle. Sizzle.

Followed by thick black smoke.  Followed by running to the living room to open the sliding glass door to let the 4 degree fresh air in.  Followed by flipping, and more smoke, and cooking for the required 6 minutes.  Only to cut into the middle of the black singed cutlets to see they were still pink.  No. Raw.  At least they went well with my raw green beans.  Who cares if my eyes were stinging and I was crying with the joy of creation…or was that intense pain…??

My saving grace was the Angle Food cake I bought pre-made from Whole Foods and covered in Ghirardelli milk chocolate and cream a la the Barefoot Contessa’s Black and White Angel Food Cake.  I am sure if I attempted her recipe from scratch, it would not have been the good news of the day.

“So what is the funny thing?” you ask?

You are reading this blog for some sort of homemaking inspiration.

Abort! Abort! Run as fast as you can!  Find Martha Stewart!  Find Food Network! Find anything to help you except for me.  This journey may not end well.

Posted December 29th, 2009 under Cooking. Tags: christmas dinner, Cooking, food network, foodie, homemaking, housewife, martha stewart, mom
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