The Evolving Homemaker

*FYI:  Blog post at Reality Writes today as well, and it is not this one!  Pop on over to read it here.*

I am actually terrified.

I couldn’t get my mind around it exactly this evening.  As the smell of fresh soil wafted through the house, I stood in the kitchen staring at the plethora of seed packets on the counter.  I was utterly afraid.

“Afraid of what?” you ask.

I am doubting my ability to grow a thing.  I am doubting that a single seed, that the children and I diligently planted on this glorious spring day, will even sprout.  I am worried that my husband will be incredibly disappointed after spending last weekend, and years listening to me speak of our tremendous gardening potential, devoted to making raised beds.

What if I kill…everything?

What if not a single cherry tomato, basil, romaine, leek, spring onion, chive, kale, sunflower, carrot, broccoli, or radish even take the leap of faith to break forth from the seed?  Oh God.  I am panicking that I am going to be the worst gardener ever, even though I already am fully aware that I am the worst gardener ever.

I just wish there was a cheaper way to be a miserable failure.  Oh wait, I suppose if I never even tried to grow a thing, it would be a cheaper way to be a stinking failure.  I just hope that at the end of the summer, I am not wishing I saved the money instead.

There was one shining light in the whole shebang.  I had a moment of utter glory this afternoon.  The kids and I sat on the front porch, enjoying the sixty degree weather, and filling our little seed starter trays with dirt.  My almost four year old daughter insisted on placing some rosemary and tomato seeds in their perspective trays.  I being the crappy gardener as it is, thought it best if I did it.

Soon enough however, I remembered that I attempt to grow things every year with high hopes that the kids will learn and understand the amazing process of life, and of course, it helps that they know where food comes from.  I poured some tiny rosemary seeds into my daughters hand.  She meticulously picked each one up and placed it delicately into the dips in the soil that we had prepared.

I enjoyed watching this so incredibly much, the few moments that the tiny seeds lay in her tiny hand.  For some reason, it really caught me off guard.  The innocence of her little hand, as the backdrop of the seemingly innocent seeds.  Seeds which have nothing to do, but grow.  Yet, to look at them, you would never guess the huge amount of potential they possess.

It is the same with her tiny hand.  I often take for granted that her hand is not going to be so small forever.  That there will come a day when she doesn’t even want to hold mine anymore.  That is because she is like that little seed.  Her whole purpose is to grow, and create, and produce a life of her own.  My only job is to provide the water and maybe a little sunlight to help her on her way.

I really hope that my giant brown thumb doesn’t stop her from fully blossoming.

Spill it: Share a recent sacred moment with one of your children.  Let us remember how lucky we are!

Posted March 15th, 2010 under Gardening. Tags: gardening with kids, planting seeds, planting seeds with kids, seed starting
RSS 2.0 feed. Leave a response, or trackback.