The Evolving Homemaker

One improbable housewife's odyssey into the realm of mothering, cooking, crafting, gardening, and more…

 

Blog Hop Take Two…

*Evidently I don’t follow directions very well.  Although, I am not sure the directions for this blog hop thing were actually on the site I came upon that introduced me to this little moment of sharing!  So today I follow directions to the tee.  And next TUESDAY come back to see the multitude of progress that has been made in the garden!

Do Skinny Girls Have Food Issues?

Naaaaa….

Except that would be a a lie.

For many years, I have made mention in passing with my women friends about not liking my body, feeling unhealthy, shame over my seemingly permanent muffin top, or just plain not wanting to get in a swimsuit due to my lack of enjoyment of putting on display the cottage cheese evident in many places of my body scattered under my skin.

What I find when I share such nuggets isn’t compassion, but more like aggressive eye rolling and annoyance.

Why?

Because I am skinny.

Of course right now I am about 5 pounds over my ideal weight for me.  That would just piss off so many. Because of course when wearing clothes I look fantabulous.  In a swimsuit, or shorts, or God forbid naked, I see another more painful story.

It is a story of a skinny girl who is addicted to food for all things emotional.

I use it to ease my anxiety.  I use food to erase my feelings of being a totally inadequate Mom at least once every single day.   I use Starbucks Mocha’s and Carmel Frappuccino’s to take away the loneliness I feel on a daily basis…even though I am surrounded by two beautiful, amazing, creatures at every moment.  I use Newman’s O’s, and any chocolate I can find, to ‘treat’ myself as if I deserve to ‘treat’ myself like shit.  I find any sugar laden snack to fill my world with love, because so often it feels like love is missing. I am obsessive to the point of planning out where my next fix will be coming from, and completely unable to go through an entire day without some sort of yumminess that I swear to myself I won’t eat tomorrow.

Except I do.

Everyday.

To make matters worse, I am hypoglycemic.  My sugar addiction has already taken a toll on my body producing symptoms of low sugar when I come down from my sugar high. I can be skinny on the outside, with insides that are screaming for me to make a change.

Yet I still continue my addiction.

So please don’t judge me because I wear a size 8…my demons are just as painful as yours; my bag of hammers just as heavy.  If I have shared my dirty little secret with you, it is because I am reaching out for understanding.

BLOG HOP

I am actually really happy to come upon this fitness/weight/health blog hop because all of our journey’s are a struggle whatever they may look like from the outside.  We all have to fight everyday to stay on track.  We all need support to pick ourselves up when we have fallen.  We all need to see each other without judgment, but with compassion instead.  Regardless of the complexities of our individual paths.

*This is where we show our community support by following other blogs and other journeys!

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8 Responses to “Blog Hop Take Two…”

  1. Jaded Vixen Says:

    Hello from your newest follower. I completely understand emotional eating, I’ve been eating my feelings for as long as I can remember.

    I found you via Lucy’s F2F Blog Hop! Look forward to reading your updates, hopefully you’ll check out http://jadedgymjunkie.blogspot.com and we can keep the positive encouragement flowing! All the best to you…

    Jaded Vixen!

  2. Ann Richmond Says:

    …aaaaaaaaand, I’m doing some emotional eating right now, while reading your post. So I understand. I am trying to change, too. Unfortunately my post-5-pregnancy teeth are forcing a lot of that change…but maybe that’s a blessing in disguise?

  3. Emily Prince Says:

    Jen, thank you so much for sharing this “issue” with anyone and everyone who cares! You already know some of my story with eating issues and I have to wonder, how many women out there are living in shame and guilt, secretly, over food and body fixation? That’s why I’ve become an open book with my own struggles… No one should feel alone. So now that I know you’re in a similar “boat” as me, I will share that I hate the fact that I can never find a woman friend who will meet me for the purpose of enjoying a piece of cake with a cup of coffee or glass of wine… Every coffee date I go on, we just drink coffee…. I don’t like to “indulge” in secret anymore, but unfortunately, I can’t ever find anyone who’s up for “indulging” in public, beside me. So sister, let me know if you’re ever up for meeting me for a piece of Tiramisu cake at Whole Foods, because we love ourselves and we deserve it! :)

  4. Lucy Says:

    Thank you so much for linking up, and thank you so much for sharing.

    Your “addiction” is so so common. And addiction it is.

    Looks like you have two challenges. The physcial addiction, and the emotional one. (As well as juggling real life. Ummmm. Not easy.)

    Size 8 or size 24, it makes no difference, it is still the hardest set of challenges we face, I reckon.

    My only suggestion is to to ask yourself how badly do you want to be free?

    Can you visualise a life, YOUR life, totally without food as a reward, as a prop?

    If you can believe it, you can then make a plan…….

  5. Tessa Says:

    SO freaking bizarro that you would write about this. I was JUST contemplating writing a post on my addiction….food. For me it’s a bit more embarrassing to admit, because I feel like being the overweight mama that I am, it’s obvious already. I feel that when people see an overweight person, the assumption is just made that they have a problem with food. Likewise, I can see how someone who is skinny doesn’t get the same validation when dealing with the same stuff.
    I am, however, just putting two and two together that my emotions also play a role, along with my sluggish thyroid gland and my many food sensitivities. Glad I’m not alone, however I would prefer to be dealing with these same problems in a skinny body! But that’s my journey, to work hard at health while simultaneously accepting my body image the way that it is.

  6. Janessa Says:

    I’m glad you have linked up :) You made me realize that I hadn’t put the instructions on my last link up a couple weeks ago…made sure I did this time thanks to you.

    I too am an emotional eater. I am trying to change this. Good for you for being open and honest about it. I have started writing down what I eat. I find it keeps me on track. Maybe if you write what you are eating and also write why you think you are eating it or what’s happening at that moment, it might give you some insight and help you to change the behavior. Just a thought.

  7. Ann Shannon Says:

    Jen, you have certainly hit a hot topic…I don’t know any woman, fat, fine, thin, whatever, who doesn’t have body image and/or eating issues. None of us know how to love and appreciate the body we have, having all been assaulted and deformed by a culture obsessed with photo-shopped images of women in the media. We’re all just nuts, programmed to be nuts on this. And we are all so overly reactive to what, when, and how we eat that it can’t really nourish us as it would if we were emotionally balanced about food. This is a cultural juggernaut we all share, whatever body shape or size we are.

  8. jenparsons Says:

    WOW. I am so grateful for ALL of these comments! I think one thing that seems really clear is that we are not alone. I think one thing that really irritates me, is that most of us spend so much time covering up who we really are. If we just shared ourselves more honestly on a daily basis…not one of us would constantly feel like an island. As I often do with so many things…

    Thanks for sharing and being a glimmer of hope for me! It is one thing to love all things sugar…it is another to be completely at the mercy of it!

    Cheers!

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I am a stay at home, homeschooling Mama of two, 5 and 7, trying to live simply, craft simply, write simply, cook simply, all the while trying to remain present and mindful as chaos ensues.

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